goodbye.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

8:22 PM

sigh... today is a horrble day too, although my finger is slightly better.. Gladys asked me who chuan yi was, and sandra also asked me if i know who chuan yi was and if i know who gabriel from gep is. sigh, why is everyone asking me if i know someone by the name blah-blah?

fieldtrip was today. we visited qianhu fish farm, aerogreen and everbloom which was the vegetable and mushroom farm respectively. It was fun, esp the mushroom farm. hehe. quite enjoyed myself, but...

Terrible day, i lost my chairman badge!!! It was on my shirt this morning! i guess it fell off... now what to do???Arghh... Im totally freaked out by myself! Im upset but it's a kind of sadness that no words can express.. Ms Ha talked to me today, asked me quite a number of things. i feel stress.. i finally feel it, after so long being in a leadership position. why? why did i suddenly feel freaked out? Thy life is in a mess.

In sooth i know not why i am so sad, my mind seems to be tossing on the sea. Let me say that i am sad cos im not happy. why? my life seems to be an empty shell. i seem to be living in a world controlled by others, doing what im ordered to do, living in fear. why? there is jus so many answers to my questions, every single one jus more impossible than the first, so will i ever find a perfect answer to my problems, will will i ever live like this?

People out on the streets may think im fine. but the truth is, im not. who will ever understand the torture im going through in my heart? it's never the same. in this world, you meet alot of people. Some come and go quickly, some stay for a while and leave footprints in your hearts, but one thing for sure, we are never ever the same. believe me, we are never ever the same, even you look and sound the same, you will at least be different in your thoughts and moods at a point of time.

i think i shall end of here. but no matter how upset i am, i stil look forward to a new day! :], one's fate can jus change in a day!